Real Life Community Church Sermons
Real Life Community Church, is a church located in Richmond, Kentucky. Our fellowship is comprised of authentic followers of Jesus Christ who aim to glorify God in all that we do. We have a desire to reach our community, meeting both the physical and spiritual needs of those who are hurting.What to Expect in a ServiceOur Sunday Morning services include a time of dynamic, contemporary worship. We have a full praise band, consisting of real Christ-followers who are committed to worshiping God, not just through song, but in every area of their lives. Each service will include a relevant, Bible-based message, that will inspire and challenge those who hear it, in their walk with the Lord. Come casually or formally dressed… however you are most comfortable. We hope to see you soon!
Real Life Community Church Sermons
The Ministry and Meaning of Marriage
Discover the divine design of marriage as this sermon explores its meaning according to Ephesians 5. Listeners learn about the ministries of husbands and wives, the importance of mutual respect and love, and how marriage can serve a greater spiritual purpose.
• Marriage is a divine institution established by God
• Emphasis on the need for marriage to thrive, not just survive
• Viewing marriage as a ministry shared by both partners
• The wife's role: humble submission and respect
• The husband's role: servant leadership and sacrificial love
• Marriage should reflect the love between Christ and the church
• Pastor Chris's personal testimony offer hope for struggling marriages
• Encouragement to seek God's guidance in fostering a joyful marriage
Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Speaker 1:Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, for he who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Speaker 2:Amen. This is the Word of God. You know your part. Thanks be to God. All right you may be seated. How many know it's worth thanking the Lord for His Word? Amen, amen.
Speaker 2:Well, malachi tells us that God hates divorce and the enemy, the devil, loves divorce. Martin Luther, the great reformer, said these words. He said there is no estate to which Satan is more opposed than to marriage. Next week, we are going to start an expository series through the book of Acts. God willing, we will take all of 2025 to go through this wonderful book. But I had a Sunday in between the last series that we finished up our Advent series and the start of Acts, and so I was seeking the Lord as to what I should preach, and often on this type of of Sunday, I would preach about the new year and growing in God and setting goals and all of those things which are good things to do. But as I continued to pray, it became more and more clear to me that I was to preach on the subject of marriage.
Speaker 2:As a pastor, my heart has been broken over the last several years at this church to watch so many families experience, let's say, disarray in their relationships with one another and, tragically, we've had a few marriages end in divorce, which just absolutely crushes my heart. I want to say very clearly this is not a message of condemnation. There is no condemnation in the lord jesus christ. Are you grateful for that? My aim today is simply to remind you of the blessing that marriage is supposed to be and I want you to enjoy if you're married. I want you to enjoy your marriage and I want to point us back to the ultimate meaning of marriage. So if you're married and you're here with your spouse, smile at her or him. My wife actually is in here today. She usually doesn't get to be in here for the message because she's in kids ministry, but this must be providential. You know, here's the thing, church, I don't want you just to stay married. I want you to stay married and love it and love and cherish your spouse. That's what God, I believe, wants for us. Let me just remind you that marriage was designed by God and it is meant to be between one man and one woman, no matter what our culture says for life. It's God's institution and we don't get to change it. Marriage is meant to be a blessing. We know, as a matter of fact, from research that marriage is good for individuals. Before I go any further, let me say if you're here and you're single, you can live absolutely a full and wonderful life in the Lord if you're single.
Speaker 2:But when we talk about marriage, tim Keller and Kathy Keller co-wrote a book together called the Meaning of Marriage, and in there they pointed out research that shows that people who are married consistently show much higher degrees of satisfaction with their lives than those who are single, those who are divorced or those who cohabit. In other words, they live together outside of marriage. Marriage is a blessing to the individual, but marriage is also good for family. We know this. That Keller points out that children who grow up in married to parent families have two or three times more positive life outcomes than those who do not Think of that. Marriage is good for the family. Marriage is also good for the society. Marriage is good for the family. Marriage is also good for the society.
Speaker 2:Focus on the Family years ago posted an article called why it Matters, and it's on point when it assesses that the institution of marriage is foundational to a healthy society. You know the world, the progressive world, is out to attack the nuclear family. World is out to attack the nuclear family. But the nuclear family is God's design and it is imperative that we keep the nuclear family intact if we're going to have a healthy society. So marriage serves the needs of an individual, the needs of family and even the needs of society. But I would argue from Ephesians 5 today that none of those benefits point to the ultimate reason or meaning of marriage.
Speaker 2:And so, before I tell you what that is, I want to start by talking about the ministry of marriage. And so, before I tell you what that is, I want to start by talking about the ministry of marriage, the ministry of marriage. Have you ever thought about your marriage as ministry? When we think about ministry, it's interesting. We think about generally what happens within these four walls, and the Bible, to be sure, calls us to minister to one another, to bear one another's burdens, to use our God-given gifts to serve one another, to encourage one another in the Lord, to hold one another accountable. That's all ministry. But I want to remind you today that when you walk out these doors this morning, that ministry does not stop. There are people in Richmond who are lost and need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ. That's ministry, that's a call to ministry to share the gospel. There are the poor and marginalized and those who are sick, who need attending to that's ministry. And we're called to that ministry. But ministry doesn't even stop there. You are called to ministry within the four walls of your home. As a pastor, my first ministry, my first ministry, is to my wife and then my children.
Speaker 2:Paul says in Ephesians, chapter 4, so just back one chapter, verses 11 and 12, that the five-fold ministry apostle, prophet, pastor, teacher, evangelist is given to equip the saints for the work of the ministry. So my job is not just to do the work of the ministry, but my job is to equip you for the work of the ministry. And it's interesting that Paul says that. Remember, chapters and verses weren't in the original text, like we added those later. Almost immediately after talking about equipping you for the work of the ministry, paul talks about how the home should function. So marriage is a ministry. In a nutshell, here's what it is the husband and the wife are both called to imitate Christ, yet in different aspects. That's ministry.
Speaker 2:Now, before I dive into this, let me just say that men and women are equal in the sight of God. Ladies, you are not inferior in God's eyes, nor in our eyes to men. That's clear. You go back to Genesis 2,. Both men and women were created in the image of God. Both men and women were blessed Genesis, chapter 2, by God, both men and women. Adam and Eve were given dominion by God over the world. They were to be God's vice regents and cultivate the beauty of God's creation. So men and women are equal in the sight of God. But I'll also say that God created them, as Genesis says, male and female, and he made the genders distinctly, and that's not incidental.
Speaker 2:Our hyper-liberal culture wants to say oh, there's no difference, and you just be who you want to be, and it's whatever you identify as. And men can do what women can do and women can do what men can do. That's baloney, that's not Christianity. The differences God made between men and women, biologically, emotionally, in every way Listen, those differences are beautiful, they're beautiful. And so there are differences between men and women in the home, the roles of men and women, and in the church. The New Testament tells us those are non-negotiables and they're beautiful, no matter what the culture thinks. Listen, god's design of male and female is wonderful and it is perfect and it is glorious. So, that being said.
Speaker 2:What does ministry look like for the wife and the husband? We're going to start with the wife, because that's where Paul begins. Look at verses 22 through 24. What we're going to see is the wife's ministry is this, and hang with me, let me explain what this means.
Speaker 2:The wife's ministry in the home is humble submission to her husband. It's quiet. Let's just let the word of God speak. How many believe the word of God is the infallible word God breathe. The Bible is the infallible word of God. It's unchanging. Here we go.
Speaker 2:Verse 22 wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the, the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. The wife is to imitate Jesus and how he humbly submitted to the Father. Well, how did Jesus submit to the Father? Go with me, if you would, to the book of Philippians. I think we have this on the screen Chapter 2, verses 5 through 8. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ.
Speaker 2:Jesus who, though, was in the form of God, did not count what Equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross. Jesus is an equal part of the Trinity with God, the Father. God, the Father, jesus is no less God than the Father and he's no more God than the Holy Spirit. Yet you look through the gospel accounts and you see Jesus' humble submission to the will of the Father.
Speaker 2:In John, chapter 4, the story of the woman at the well, jesus says to His disciples who are trying to get Him to eat some food and run by McDonald's, you know, and grab something. He says listen. He says "My food is to do the will of my Father". All the way to the Garden of Gethsemane, jesus said these words. He prayed in agony Father, if there be any other way, let this cup pass from me. But what? Not my will, but yours be done. Jesus, in the form of God, equal with God, didn't count that equality, something to be grasped, but humbled himself. It's amazing, wives, you are called to follow Christ in that humble submission.
Speaker 2:And notice a woman, by the way is not to submit to all men. It says wives, submit to your own husbands, husbands and wives. Listen, how does this work practically? We should work together with our spouses' men to lead the home, like if you don't give your wife a say and you don't listen to her, you're foolish. My wife knows some things that I don't know. In the times that I have done things without asking her her opinion, I've lived to regret Come on somebody, can I get some men just to say amen. So husband and wife work together to make financial decisions, to decisions on how they will raise the kids. Where are we going to live? Where are we going to work? You know all of those things. It's a husband and wife working together but ultimately going to work. All of those things. It's a husband and wife working together. But ultimately every organization, every institution, has to have a leader. That's why organizations don't have two CEOs. You have one CEO.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you how this works in our church. We have five pastors. In this church we call them pastors or elders, synonymous terms. All four of our other pastors are as much pastors as I am. They are credentialed. I am accountable to them, just like they are accountable to me. They all have gifts. They all partake in teaching in different aspects, in teaching in different aspects. They all participate in shepherding our people. They're as much pastors as I am, but you have to have a leader, and so, as the lead pastor, I am called here the first amongst equals. I'm no more of a pastor, I'm no more valuable than any other pastors in this church, but the buck stops with me. Ultimately, I'm responsible, and that's how it works in the home. Does that make sense? Let me just tell you how this has worked in my marriage. I just want to brag on my wife, since she's in here and I need brownie points. There are many contexts that I could talk about this in. My wife has just been so humbly submissive in so many ways.
Speaker 2:But let me just talk about it quickly in the context of ministry. When my wife and I got married almost 28 years ago 28 years isn't that crazy. I had no idea that I was called to ministry, brother Bill, and if you've been around church anytime, you know that ministry is not easy. For the pastor's wife Like that is a difficult role to fill, a lot of sacrifice. But Nikki didn't think twice when I told her. I felt the Lord was calling me to vocational ministry. She said I want to support you all those years ago.
Speaker 2:So I got hired on over 20 years ago at a church in Winchester, a decent sized church. I was the music minister and made a full-time salary. All was good. Two years later I felt led to go to an Assemblies of God church that was less than 100 people and could pay me listen $100 a week. That was my salary. So you imagine going home telling your wife hey, we're going to leave this great church, nothing was wrong, full-time salary. We're going to go serve another church that needs help for $100 a week. Did she voice concerns? Absolutely. But you know what she said If this is God's will, I'm behind you. Let's do it.
Speaker 2:Two years later, as I was developing in ministry, we had an opportunity to go to Tucson, arizona. So again my wife said hey, that's where God's calling us, let's go. And so we had two young children. Then we left our families, the only state we'd ever lived in. We left good old Southern culture. Everything changed for us and she did it gladly. Arizona was not a good experience. We then moved to Colorado again new state, don't know anybody and we had six glorious years in Colorado at a really healthy church and we both felt God calling us back to Kentucky. But we didn't know what that was going to look like until this church became open and again they offered me a position and they said by the way, this is going to be a I had to tell Nikki this is going to be a 75% pay cut from what I was making 75% pay cut. We have a kid now going into junior high, one in high school. At this point, we're going to sell our house that we love, we're going to move in with my parents for a while and we're going to take a 75% pay cut. And you know what she said If this is where God is calling us, let's do it. I'm so grateful for my wife Because I have seen pastors, people called to ministry, people called to missions, who have not been able to follow the call that God has had on their lives, because a wife doesn't let the husband lead, and that is tragic.
Speaker 2:So, wives, your ministry to your husband is humble submission. Now, ladies, before you walk out on me, let's just talk about what a husband's leadership is meant to look like. What's the husband's ministry? Here's what we're going to see, starting in verse 25. A husband's ministry to his wife is this it is servant leadership. It's not tyranny, it's not a dictatorship, it's not. I'm going to sit on the couch and you bring me a beer and Cheetos. It's not that. It is servant leadership. These words are intense. My wife's walking out. I hope she's not upset. Look at verse 25.
Speaker 2:Husbands, do what. Say it with a little more passion. Husbands, love your wives, thank you. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands, love as Christ loved the church. Give yourself up for your wife as Christ gave himself up for the church, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Servant leadership man, that's what we're called to. We don't see this much anymore in the home.
Speaker 2:The late Wayne Smith said if a man opens a car door for his wife, one of two things is true Either the car is new or the wife is new. Husbands, we are to love our wives In that word love. Matter of fact, bill, let me just say you were at Olive Garden. I didn't see you until you were walking out the parking lot. Oh, no, no, no, logan's. A couple weeks ago you opened the corridor for your wife. How long you been married, thank you. Thank you for serving your wife in that way. Men, we need to be better at that. Young men, you need to be better at those things. Casey, casey, jerry put you in the car, like, don't give him a hard time. I love this church. Can I just say that we can just have fun together. Listen, paul says husbands, love your wives.
Speaker 2:Now, the word love we kind of throw that word around has many different contexts and meanings, and in the ancient world the Greeks had at least six words and ideas of what love is. You had brotherly, had brotherly love, you had erotic love and all those things. The word that's used here is the familiar Greek word you might know agape, agape. And agape is this sacrificial type of love. Cs Lewis said rightly that agape love is a matter of the will, not emotion. Now, this is an important distinction.
Speaker 2:I tell every married couple this that I'm getting well in premarital counseling. I tell every engaged couple this I said romantic feelings are going to come and go. Engaged couple, this I said romantic feelings are going to come and go. Those butterflies, I'm sorry, young people who are dating. They're not going to stay forever. They'll be up and down and thank God for that. I mean honestly, you know like it's exhausting being young and it happened to you know, I don't know, you know what I mean. Like I'm glad that levels out a little bit. Let's just leave that there. Romantic feelings will come and go, but agape love is steadfast, it's stable. Here's why Agape love, it involves action. It is not just declaring man, your love for your wife, but it is demonstrating that love radically, radically. And here's the great news about this.
Speaker 2:Cs Lewis pointed this out in his book Mere Christianity. He said what he found is this he had a radio show on the other side of the pond during World War II, and all this and CS Lewis would have some of these Jewish Christians who would call in after the war and say how do we ever we're called to love those who hate us and how do we love those who are part of the Nazi regime? Here's what CS Lewis told them and this is what in the book Mere Christianity. He said listen, if you will act loving towards, bless those who curse you, towards those people, you will start to feel love for them. That's radical. And he said the opposite is true, because he knows people who were part of the Nazi regime, who had no beef with the Jewish people. But the more they obeyed orders and started doing things against the Jews, hateful things against them, they actually, in their hearts, started hating them.
Speaker 2:See, in our culture here's what we do we tend to allow our emotions to drive our actions. But you know what we should do at home and everywhere else. We should allow our actions to drive our emotions. We are to love our wives in demonstration. And then Paul knows that as men, you've got to explain things. So he gives us two pictures of what this should look like. One he says love your wife as Christ loved the church. That's radical. And number two love your wife as your own body.
Speaker 2:Let's just take those quickly, one by one. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Christ literally was crucified for the church. So, ladies, let me just say to you this is not a call for the husband to just rule you with kind of an iron fist and tell you every little thing to do and you're scared to make any decisions. It's the opposite of that. It is literally a husband's job to lay down his life for you. And we can take that quite literally, because we know that as husbands we are called to be protectors. And so, casey, you know this, we will put ourselves as men in harm's way. And so, casey, you know this, we will put ourselves as men in harm's way. That's why I got the crane kicked down. We'll put ourselves in harm's way so that our wives and children will be protected. We'll take a bullet for them, we'll take a punch for them.
Speaker 2:But also there's a figurative point here as well. Jesus said I didn't come to be served, I came to serve you. And I, as men, we are called to serve our wives. Here's what that means. We lay our dreams, sometimes our ambitions, our hobbies aside, so that they can thrive, we put our wives and then our children above ourselves. Some of you dads know this because you drive the worst car in the family, right? Even your kids drive nicer cars than some of you.
Speaker 2:We are to love our wives as christ loved the church. Servant leadership that involves also spiritual leadership. You notice here it says that christ cleansed the church by the washing of water, with the word. Isn't it tragic today that, more more common than not, the women are the spiritual leaders of the home. The women have a theological voice, but often it's the women going hey, get off the couch, we need to go to church, right. Hey, we need to pray together. Hey, we need to do family devotions. Men, humbly I say this is our job. It's our job. Love your wife as Christ loved the church and then just quickly love your wife as your own body.
Speaker 2:A husband should nourish his wife, provide for her physical needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs and then cherish, cherish his wife. And when you're covenant, it's not just we'll stay together, it's a promise to love and to cherish you, or to have and to hold, or however you say it, through sickness and health, better or worse, from this day forward. It's quite a covenant, isn't it? Quite a promise, the call of the husband. The ministry of the husband is to be a servant. So, ladies, is your job to humbly submit? Yes, but it's to submit to the one who lays down his life and his dreams and his desires for you. The husband submits to Christ, the woman submits to Christ, and her husband and the children submit to mom and dad and Christ. That's how the nuclear family is supposed to operate. If any one of those pieces are out of order, your marriage will be in disarray. It's hard for a wife to follow a man who's not submitted to Christ and not providing servant leadership. So let me move on.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to briefly mention this point. So that's the ministry of marriage we talked about. Remember how marriage is meant to be a blessing for the individual, for the family, for society. But none of those give us the ultimate meaning of marriage or the reason for marriage. Why did God design this? Look with me at verses 31 through 33.
Speaker 2:Paul writes Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother that's important and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Here's what Paul says. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Paul calls this union of a husband and wife a mystery. It is a profound mystery, isn't it? When the Bible in the New Testament talks about this mystery, it's generally a plan of God that has been hidden throughout the ages. It's a bit cryptic maybe in the Old Testament, but it's seen clearly in Christ or fulfilled in Christ. And so here's what Paul says. He said this has been a bit cryptic, but here's what marriage really means. He says.
Speaker 2:Let me just unpack this. You and I are created in the image of God. We are meant to display His glory, reflect His glory back into the world Through the way we live, the way we think, the way we act. Marriage, ultimately, is supposed to be a picture to the world of how Christ loves His church. So let me ask you when people, men, see the way you treat your wife, do they say man, could they see how Christ loves His church and women? Could the people of the world look at the way you treat your husband and get a glimpse of how Christ has submitted to the Father and how he loves His church. Can I just say this? This may shock you, but your marriage, ultimately, it's not about you, your life, newsflash, not about you. When you become a Christian, your life becomes united to Christ. And here's what Paul said. He said I've been crucified with Christ. It's what no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And that's what happens when you get married, husband and wife. That's why, by the way, a divorce, that's why the Lord hates it, one of the many reasons. It's not like tearing up a contract, it's like severing a limb. It's a pain that never goes away. So that's the meaning of marriage. It's about the glory of God, displaying Christ's love for the church. How are you doing? All right, let me close with this, just so you will know that this is not a message of condemnation.
Speaker 2:I've shared my story many times with you, but I know we've got some new people here. So, as I pray through this, I just want to give you a quick rundown of my history with my wife. So my wife and I got married very young, 19 years old. I was extremely immature. We had kids and it was like babies, raising babies. You've been there like totally and was very selfish.
Speaker 2:And I went into marriage thinking what can I get out of this? That's not probably the best way to go in. And so I say to you very regretfully, that for well over a decade, even at the beginning of my ministry, I was a horrible, horrible husband and I was miserable and Nikki was miserable and we got to a point where I remember thinking this can never work. Divorce is inevitable. I've got two young kids. At this time I thought this is never going, never work. Divorce is inevitable. I've got two young kids.
Speaker 2:At this time I thought this is never going to work. And then I thought, well, god hates divorce. And I thought here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to just, we're going to stay married, but I'm just going to be miserable the rest of my life. And then one day it hit me that if God can part the Red Sea and if God can cleanse the leper and heal the sick, then surely, surely, god can fix my marriage.
Speaker 2:And I just want to testify to you today, because I've heard within the last year people say there's just no hope, there's too much water under the bridge. I can almost guarantee you it wasn't to the place. Maybe it was, maybe it is, but I don't think it was to the place that Nikki and I were at. We loathed each other. But I want to tell you today, 28 years later, I want to tell you that not only are we still married, but I actually look forward to going home after work most days.
Speaker 2:I should have just stopped while I was ahead. Listen, we have a joy-filled marriage. Is it perfect? No, but I could not imagine my life without her and I want to tell you, husband, if you will submit to Christ and submit to your wife and work on yourself that's what I had to do. I had to quit trying to fix the little things with Nikki and start. You know, take the log out of my own eye, ladies if you will submit to Christ and work on yourself and you will just understand the meaning of marriage and treat it like a ministry, you can have a joy-filled marriage. Well, you don't know. What we're going through Doesn't matter. If God can part the Red Sea, he can fix you, doesn't? He transform people? That's it. So I'll leave you with this. I'll remind you again the devil hates marriage and he loves divorce. But let me just quote Jesus and say what God has joined together. Let no man separate.